Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
