you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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