Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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