Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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