when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
