Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
