Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Watching her eat just hurts me
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
