first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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