If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Did you just see the Batmobile???
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
