You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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