He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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