In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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