we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we're making bets on your personal life
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
