I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
