it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Fuck me I smell like cheese
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
