Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
