her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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