Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
