So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
