so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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