I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
