Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
