He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
