my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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