Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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