so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
