Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
