i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
