Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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