Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
