Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
