well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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