Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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