that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
