Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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