I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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