the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
