in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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