My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
