My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
