Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
