I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
