We named our party play list daddy issues
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
