You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
