were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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