nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
