her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
