I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
