it wasn't lemon gatorade
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize