Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
